I thought that I would do quite a chatty post today just because that’s how I’m feeling. I don’t really know where to start and I’m conscious of rambling on so I will try and get straight to the point.
Recently I have been trying to get back into the swing of regularly blogging and posting on social media. December saw me posting everyday as part of Blogmas and I didn’t want to go deathly quiet after that came to an end. Now, I absolutely love being a fashion blogger, getting the chance to be creative, putting outfits together and talking about what I love. This last couple of weeks I have started to feel like there is a downside to all of this and that is because I’ve become more self critical.
I have never been one for comparing myself to others. I can quite happily flick through a magazine or see an advert on TV without thinking ‘I wish I looked like that’. However, I have always been in competition with myself regardless of what it is I always have to improve. Being self employed I’m always looking at how I’m doing things and how I can be more efficient and this pretty much extends to every aspect of my life from how far I’m running to how much I’m sleeping.
As a fashion blogger you are always editing photos from outfit shoots and I feel like I am putting how I look under constant scrutiny. I am not the most photogenic person, I’m not 100% comfortable in front of the camera and maybe that is something to do with it. I’m now at the point where I am picking fault with nearly every photo of myself; my hair desperately needs doing, I look pale, I hate myself in profile, my face would look better if I had cheekbones and my lips were fuller. This list could go on and on and once I have started I find it hard to stop. I don’t know if this has come about because I am trying to improve on my content and part of my content is myself.
This train of thought isn’t like me at all. I’ve never really been bothered by how I look. Take my teeth for example, they are far from perfect (they could be straighter) but they give me character. If I had pearly white movie star teeth I wouldn’t look like me.
Now I do realise how ridiculous this all is, especially when there are way more important things going on in the world. It is something that I am going to have to get a hold of and I hope that by sharing this it will basically force me to get a grip. Things are going to change. Instead of focusing on attempting to look half decent in photos I am instead going to concentrate on letting my personality shine through. Take the photo below as an example. I love it and yet I look far from attractive, it was taken in a moment where outfit photos were becoming impossible because of the wind and yet I look like I am having fun. I am always laughing and yet none of my outfit photos reflect that so from now on I shall be changing how I do things and focusing on being me.
Am I the only one who feels like this?
